I am Bruce

My name is Bruce Mathieu. I was born into a single parent family, living with only my mother. Life without a father was tough, as I had no one to properly look up to and guide me when I made mistakes. Throughout my adolescence, I always felt ostracized as everyone had the warmth from the care and love that their parents showed to them. As for me, I had to hustle for everything on my own, as my mother was busy working to provide food on the table for the both of us. This led to me falling to peer pressure easily, as all I ever wanted as a kid was to just fit in and be like everyone else.

With such a toxic lifestyle in my youth, I had landed myself in prison a total of 5 times. Upon my first release from prison, I tried to make amends by finding a stable job to provide for myself and turn over for the better. However, all those hopes and dreams of becoming a better person were shattered, as society was extremely judgemental of my past, and they weren’t willing to give me a second chance. All I could remember from those job interviews were “We’ll get back to you” or “We’ll call you if you get the job”. Those were just polite ways of telling me that they didn’t want me because of my past. This led to me giving up and falling into the cycle of relapse.

By my third release from prison, I had met my wife. For a while, things were going smoothly in life for me. I was able to find a job as a bouncer for clubs, but due to me working at a place where drugs were readily available, I was not able to help the addiction that I had. Anytime I was away from drugs, there would be an itching feeling within my veins, and the mental pressure was tough. Despite having the will power to stay away from drugs, I lacked motivation. Sooner or later, my will power was crushed by my addiction and I was dragged back into the life of drugs again.

Upon my fourth release, I had a heart to heart with myself to keep myself motivated to stay away from drugs. During the time after my fourth release, my wife gave birth to my first child. To me, my daughter was my everything, she was a new light in my life that kept me thriving in life. Unfortunately, despite all the new encouragements in my life, addiction kept creeping onto me and peer pressure brought me down into the hole that I was in previously. I was back at square one again when my addiction kicked in and I got thrown into jail for the 5th time.

During my 5th and last time in prison, I was a broken man. After failing myself over and over again, I couldn’t take it anymore. I felt like I was in an endless cycle and couldn’t break through. It wasn’t until one day, when my daughter had come to visit me in prison. When she came to see me, we were separated by a glass wall and only had a phone to communicate with one another. Being a child, she kept telling me that she wanted me to hold and embrace her. But due to the physical separation of the glass, I couldn’t do anything. That was when she started to cry. As tears ran down my beloved daughter’s face, all I could do was stand still and watch. This was the hardest hitting moment in my life. I started to remember my past, about how hard it was to grow up without a father. Thoughts started to run through my mind, about the consequences that my daughter would face if I was not there for her. It was then, I solemnly told myself that I would never ever go back to drugs and let it control my life. The risk was too big to leave my daughter all alone. I had to be there for her.

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Ever since then, I have fully committed my life to be a better person. Not just for myself, but for the people that I truly love and care about.

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